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  Subtitle: "Memoirs of a Chippie of the California Highway Patrol". Bringing to light an entertaining array of anecdotes, this collection of police stories recalls some of the strangest, funniest, and most poignant accounts from the freeways, highways, and country roads throughout California. From the family who pulled over for a picnic on the median strip of a busy freeway to the angelic-looking 5-year-old girl who defused a tense traffic stop by sweetly confessing, ?my daddy has a beer under the seat,? this is an uncompromising view of the everyday pursuits, enforcement stops, arrests, accidents, and weird encounters that patrolmen must endure. Also featured is a panoply of unlikely drunk-driving suspects, including Santa Claus, a Boy Scout troop leader, a newlywed couple, and an airline pilot on his way to fly a plane; the traffic stop of an elderly driver whose license had expired 35 years earlier?and who explained he was on his way to the DMV; and many more hilarious, odd, and tragic stories of life and death on the open road. Encouraging a renewed respect for the men and women in uniform who risk their lives to protect the public, this compilation also contains advice on highway safety and how to behave when pulled over by a patrol officer.

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• A SHEPHERD'S LIFE [LSI]

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  This is W. H. Hudson's classic narrative of rural life in Wiltshire, England, in the late 1800s. Originally published in 1910, this remarkable book transports the reader to the vast downs of the Salisbury Plain--the domain of the shepherd, who lived a life that had changed little for centuries, yet was now confronting the inexorable approach of the modern world. This work vividly captures life at that particular time and place, and is primarily centered around telling the tale of a particular shepherd, Caleb Bawcombe, and relating his many anecdotes. Seemingly every subject related to a shepherd?s work and life, from his beloved sheep dog, to his often strained relationship to the local landowner, is discussed.

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• Pardon My Hearse: A Colorful Portrait of Where the Funeral and Entertainment Ind

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  Even celebrities die — and he was the man who picked up the bodies! Allan Abbott ran the leading mortuary in Hollywood and got an unprecedented glimpse of how celebrities really live and die. The Forrest Gump of the funeral industry, Abbott was everywhere celebrities died, from helping to prepare Marilyn Monroe’s body to standing next to Christopher Walken at Natalie Wood’s funeral. Now in his new memoir Pardon My Hearse, Abbott tells the rags-to-shroud story of how he went from a young man with a hearse to the funeral director to the stars — a rollicking, unexpectedly hilarious story of glamorous funerals, mishaps with corpses and true-life glimpses of celebrities at their most revealing moments. When he wasn’t transporting celebrity corpses, Abbott used his funeral limos to transport living celebrities to Hollywood parties and rented his vast collection of cars and funeral props to movie and TV productions. Pardon My Hearse presents a dazzling A-List of celebrities, living and dead, whom Abbott encountered during his career, including Richard Burton, Elizabeth Taylor, Joe DiMaggio, Robert Redford, Frank Sinatra and others. Pardon My Hearse takes readers behind the scenes to tell the secrets of Marilyn Monroe’s funeral (where Abbott acquired the most unlikely souvenir of Monroe’s falsies) and dishes the inside story of disgraced crematorium operator David Sconce, who ordered an attack on Abbott’s business partner Ron Hast to cover up Sconce’s criminal mishandling of bodies and remains. Abbott also shares gruesome details of removing corpses from the devastation of the 1971 Sylmar earthquake, reburying corpses dislodged from the 1978 mudslide that swept through the Verdugo Hills Cemetery and more. A treasure trove of insight and gossip you can’t get anywhere else, Pardon My Hearse is an eye-opening look at secret Hollywood from the man who literally knows where the bodies are buried.